Advanced Rules Of Style
  1. Pins — after you have left your pins on your shirts/sweaters/jackets and put several through the wash and dryer, more than three times, you are not allowed to wear them anymore.
  2. When you realize you and a coworker have the same outfit? Keep wearing yours, year after year, out last them and you win.
  3. Slacks — you cannot own enough black slacks (thank you, Judy Lenihan).
  4. Slacks are like two little skirts around your ankles, the same advice applies to slack hems as to skirts: tape! staples! paper clips!
  5. However, unlike skirts which with the careful placement of a safety pin or two, you can still wear without either a functioning button or zipper, when the zipper goes on a pair of slacks, that is the end.
  6. A sure sign that the slacks have come to the end of their useful life, is if you can read through the fabric of the inner thigh.
  7. There is something different about slacks which are too short and those which are intentionally "cropped". Unfortunately I have not figured it out. And, despite what the manufacturers say: polyester and acrylics shrink.
  8. Also, the width of the hem of the slack determines which type of shoe you should wear, but I never figured how that worked so I always go by color.
  9. If something fits, get several in a lot of colors.
  10. Socks? When you get a hole at the big toe in one sock, immediately throw the pair away. There is nothing worse than it forming a tourniquet around your big toe and trust me, even if you switch socks, so the hole is over your little toe, it finds your big toe.


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